


There's a Book for That

by DeadpanDoubter



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), F/M, Human!Bill, Reverse Falls, Reverse!Bill, Reverse!Dipper - Freeform, Reverse!Human!Bill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-11
Updated: 2015-05-11
Packaged: 2018-03-30 02:37:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3919720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeadpanDoubter/pseuds/DeadpanDoubter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bill notices his master's new obsession. It couldn't hurt to help him out a little, could it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	There's a Book for That

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Collection of Reverse!Dipifica oneshots and drabbles](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3804994) by [LanxBorealis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LanxBorealis/pseuds/LanxBorealis). 



> Warning: This thing is not beta-read. It's a one-shot, banged out over the course of an hour, and the main intent was to get something on a page so I can motivate myself to finish my multi-chapter story.

“Bill.”

The demon glanced up from his spot on the floor, his visible eye widening. “Y-yes, sir?”

Dipper picked up the book from his desk drawer and hefted it in one hand so that Bill could see the cover. “What is this?”

Bill’s shoulders relaxed a little, and he offered his master a tiny smile. “I-it’s a book, on how to- how to ask someone to date you. M-Master.”

The boy gazed at him for a moment longer before Bill realized that he wanted an elaboration. “G-given your, ah, attraction to Miss Pacifica, I thought that the book would be useful to you.” He jumped when his master slammed the book against the desk top and cringed as the boy jumped to his feet.

“Are you trying to imply that I need _your_ help? _”_ Dipper hissed, his eyes narrowed and focused on the cowering demon. “And have you told _Mabel_ about this?”

Bill’s eye widened further and he flailed a little as he stammered out, “N-no, sir! I would n-never tell anyone! Not even M-Mistress Mabel!”

Dipper stalked over to the demon and grabbed his collar. “You haven’t answered if you feel I’m in need of the assistance of a ridiculous little bound demon in wooing women,” he murmured, his voice even and cool. Bill began shaking; he fixed his gaze on his master’s face, willing himself to stay focused even when he saw the tiny flames behind the boy’s eyes.

“I-I just thought that, s-since you p-prefer reading, m-maybe it would h-help you?” He added the next sentence in a rush of sound. “A-and you s-seem so _upset_ w-without Miss Pacifica, a-and I thought—“

Dipper shoved him back against the floor and released his collar. “You should really learn to stop thinking.”

Bill sat back down hard, wincing as his tailbone smacked the floor. He lowered his gaze back to the wooden slats and resumed scrubbing at a spot. He desperately wished his heart to stop hammering against his ribs; Mabel could sense his anxiety, and he did not want to be forced to reveal Dipper’s secret and face both twins’ wrath at once.

The human in question seemed to be thinking the same thing. “Bill. You are not to discuss this topic with anyone but me, and only when I bring it up. Understand?”

The demon nodded, his head bobbing hard, but then he paused and peeked up at his master. “Wh-what if Mistress Mabel demands it?”

Dipper tented his fingers in front of his face and considered. If the decision he’d come to succeeded in its execution, Mabel would know all about it soon enough. But until he was ready for her to know, he couldn’t risk one of her temper tantrums interfering with or halting his plans. As volatile as she’d been since the last attempted exposure by Gideon, she may even try to harm Pacifica herself.

He spoke aloud with a slow drawl, forming the plan as he spoke. “If she orders you to tell her what I’m planning or what is ‘going on’ with me, you are act as though I summoned you. You are to leave her immediately and appear to me, and to tell me what she asked. If I’m in the same room when she does this, you are to take her orders as a dismissal.” He glanced at the demon. “Understood?”

Bill’s body relaxed all over, and he gave an eager nod. “I understand!”

Dipper waved him off and sat back in his chair, slowly swiveling to face the desk. “You’re dismissed.” He listened to the pop that Bill gave as he vanished and opened the cover of the book.

He needed a plan. He’d known that for a while, but he had allowed Gideon’s attempts to out the twins as frauds to distract him. He’d put off planning long enough; as ridiculous and clueless as that little demon was, Dipper had to admit that Bill knew what he needed. He needed a kick in the butt. He needed advice.

He needed this book.

Holding the book open to an interesting page with one hand, Dipper pulled a blank sketch pad from his drawer with the free hand and began writing up his plan. He still felt foolish for mooning over that little Gideon Gleeful’s weird cousin, but ignoring her and listening to Mabel insult the girl had done nothing to affect his feelings. This was a serious distraction, and it required a serious plan to address it.

Several plans. Plans A through E needed to be drafted and refined. A small smile curved his lips as he set about scribbling notes.

Oh yes. If this was the only way to deal with this nonsense, then he would make sure that Miss Northwest would have no idea what hit her.


End file.
